Andra Day singing  Billie Holiday on the radio. Take my lips, I want to lose them / Take my arms, I want to lose them. At some point you pour yourself into the world or the world is poured into you. Either way, some part drowns in a flood of unimaginable terror and beauty. I watch my granddaughter trying to figure out how to take in the world without drowning and hold out hope that she will figure out the trick.  And there is a trick, which is the truth that bitches us all at some point or another. That’s the thing no one ever tells you, even people who have the best of intentions and want you to stay afloat: the world will always be too much and there’s no holding it all. The best you can do is not try to hold on to it, but pour yourself into the currents, let it hold all of you. All except the best bit. 

The bit you save for yourself. That is what saves you from drowning. The rest gets washed away whether you fight or not. But if you can find the bit that matters, that you can hold onto.

hold
hold
hold
tight
hold
tight
the 
medi
tators
are
wrong
it is
not 
all
about
bre
ath
ing:
it is
hold
and
let
go
and 
hold
and
hold
and 
hold