The tee tod totaller flashed a tired looking badge he could’ve gotten out of a Cracker Jack(T) box or off a corpse. It’s so difficult to tell these days who’s an undercover and who’s just semi-retired security guard who couldn’t leap frog the psychological tests. He was annoyed by my lack of being impressed. The young woman with him maintained a nervous smile. Like she’d seen this before. I wasn’t being paid enough to care either way and I’m too old to think courtesy towards a questionable badge puts any positive energy into the world. Let them get free coffee with their sack of burgers. I told him he needed a ticket to get into the Urban Utility and Militia Expo and that there was no outside food. He was fuming. I shrugged. That’s ok, I said. It’s every man’s God-given right to get the side-eye from his wife.